The Process for Building Families
Through Surrogacy
The surrogacy process is lengthy and complicated, but oh-so rewarding. Sure, you are compensated for your time and sacrifice, but you also deserve to be treated well throughout the process, from your first introductory conversation to your postpartum recovery. Your agency should be truly there for you, not just going through a formulaic, check-the-box exercise of “support.” You also deserve to have real agency throughout the journey (pardon the pun!)—in other words, to be empowered medically, legally, and emotionally. That’s what we promise at Brownstone.
Here’s what you can expect, in a nutshell:
1. Getting To Know Each Other
Your very first step is just to reach out! Someone on our team will contact you within one business day. We’ll get to know you a bit better, answer your questions, and tell you a bit more about the agency and our process.
2. Pre-Screening Process
Next up is our in-depth application. It covers many topics, including your family, education and employment history, medical history, views on pregnancy, and motivations for surrogacy. Assuming nothing in your application is disqualifying, we will have you sign medical records releases so that we can begin to collect your pregnancy and delivery records. Those records are reviewed by a medical professional.
While we are collecting your records, we will follow up with you and your spouse, partner, or primary support person to have an in-depth discussion about the whole process. We’ll cover what you can expect from the rest of the screening, the physical and emotional risks of surrogacy, and how we match you with parents. We get into your preferences and restrictions for matching, including your thoughts on termination, vaccination, and desired relationship with the intended parent(s).
After you are pre-cleared based on your records, we conduct background checks on you and anyone in your household over 18. We will also schedule your psychological evaluation (for you and your spouse or support person). When we get the thumbs up, you are officially cleared to be a Brownstone surrogate!
3. Matching With Parent(s)
While we’ve been thinking about which parents might be a good match for you this whole time, now that you passed the initial screening, Brownstone can now formally present you with a potential match! You will receive a profile and some background information on the parent(s) and have the power to decide to move forward to a conversation or pass. If you want to meet them, only then do we send them your profile to make sure they feel similarly.
We facilitate a virtual meet-up by Zoom or, if possible, in-person. If, and only if, both parties agree to move forward together, then it’s a match (Woo!). If it doesn’t feel right, we’ll go back to the drawing board and present you with a new potential match.
4. In-Person Medical Screening
Although Brownstone has completed its pre-screening process before you are matched, the parents’ IVF clinic has the ultimate say in whether or not you can proceed. Each clinic has its own guidelines and screening process.
Typically, you will have to travel to the clinic for an in-person evaluation, which includes a physical exam, uterine ultrasound, blood draw, and consultation with the doctor. There may be additional steps to the clinic’s psychological evaluation as well. The trip is often 1-2 days, and your spouse or partner (if applicable) may be required to attend to complete screening steps of their own.
5. The Lawyers, Accountants,
and Agents Get Involved
Armed with recommendations from Brownstone of top assisted reproductive technology (ART) lawyers, you and your parents will both retain independent counsel to draft, negotiate, and finalize the gestational surrogacy agreement (GSA). (Sometimes this happens at the same time as the in-person screening.) This contract protects you as a surrogate and helps ensure that the child will be the legal child of the intended parents. The agreement also includes the details of your compensation and the plans you and your intended parents have worked out for the pregnancy and birth. You will also work with an attorney to establish a simple living will for worst case scenarios. We’ll establish an escrow account for your parents with an independent escrow manager so that you can have peace of mind that disbursements are handled professionally and focus instead on the relationship with your intended parents. Finally, your intended parents will work with expert insurance agents to purchase any additional medical, life, or disability insurance policies for you.
6. The IVF Process
Once you and your intended parents have medical and legal clearance to proceed, the reproductive endocrinologist will start you on certain medications to prepare you for an embryo transfer. For transfer, you will travel to your intended parents’ IVF clinic, a trip that typically lasts 3 days. Brownstone will coordinate travel arrangements for you and your support person to and from the clinic. We will also arrange for pre- and post-transfer monitoring at a fertility clinic near your home. If the transfer does not result in a pregnancy, we will regroup, provide mental health support to all parties, and repeat this step.
7. Pregnancy!
Finally—what you’ve been waiting for all this time! Brownstone will make sure all parties feel truly supported during this time, be it through education, birth planning, mediation, mental health support, travel arrangements, gifts, or referrals. At around the 10th week of pregnancy, you are released to the care of your own OB.
You will be in touch with your intended parents throughout, deepening your relationship with each other and their relationship with the child you are carrying. Oftentimes you will see them at the embryo transfer and they may visit for important appointments or FaceTime in for others.
During the second trimester, you will work with independent counsel in your home state (usually the same attorney you used for the contract) to help your intended parents establish their legal parentage. Brownstone will work with the hospital to ensure proper arrangements for a surrogate delivery.
8. Birth and Postpartum
The baby arrives! While everyone is celebrating you and the family you just helped to create, we’re ready to help with any issues (legal, medical, travel), ensuring that you receive any needed postpartum mental health support and that all bills are paid before closing out the escrow account. The journey may be officially over, but we’re still checking in!
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Brownstone Surrogacy is licensed as a surrogacy matching program by the New York State Department of Health. Our license number is GS221023. We are proud to be among the few agencies licensed by a governmental regulator.
“Gestation is a marvel, no matter how it is accomplished. But gestation isn’t the real magic. Love is the magic. Love is the only magic.” – Early: An Intimate History of Premature Birth and What It Teaches Us About Being Human by Sarah DiGregorio