Questions Frequently
Asked By Parents

A genetic or traditional surrogate is artificially inseminated but uses her own egg, giving the surrogate a genetic link to the child. Gestational surrogacy is far more common and the only type of surrogacy facilitated by Brownstone. In gestational surrogacy, the intended parents create embryos on their own (from their own sperm/egg or those of donors) and the embryo is transferred into the surrogate’s uterus through IVF. The gestational surrogate has no genetic link to the child.

Strictly speaking, you don’t. There are many successful independent journeys each year. That said, there are many advantages to using an agency. Agency screening processes can help you avoid a dangerous or fraudulent situation. Agencies are better able to vet third parties involved in your process (medical, legal, psychological, and financial). It is incredibly time consuming to research and coordinate all of the necessary medical, legal, and financial details of surrogacy, and you may not want to invest that amount of time. Finally, and most importantly, the agency provides support to both parents and surrogates and helps navigate conversations that can be difficult to have directly, including about financial and moral issues. You should be able to relax and focus on preparing for your child!

Absolutely! We understand the anxiety this global pandemic can cause. In fact, our founder and his husband contracted coronavirus when their daughter was only one week old! But while the pandemic has changed the way certain things are done (for example, allowing for more remote mental health assessments), there is no reason to delay your family building. It has become a critical matching point for many parents that their surrogates be fully vaccinated against COVID-19. But while the CDC reports that pregnant individuals are at an increased risk if they contract COVID-19, the virus does not seem to pass through to the babies.

At this point, IVF clinics have adjusted to working during the pandemic and within the public health guidance and lawyers have a better handle on the challenges of cross-border arrangements. And you can still develop a close relationship with your surrogate and her family from a distance. While there is always the chance that an uptick in cases will affect things like travel, because the process from sign up to baby takes over a year and maybe closer to two years, it is best not to delay. Brownstone will be with you every step of the way to navigate your family building during these difficult times.

It depends. There are a number of significant factors outside of our agency’s control, including any limiting criteria you place on the matching process, whether the medical clearance and legal clearance proceed quickly, whether your embryos are already created and whether the first embryo transfer results in a live birth. However, from the moment you sign up with our agency to when your child is born should average around two years.

This one’s easy—contact us! Even if you don’t end up signing up with our agency, we’d be happy to answer your questions about our process and what you can expect from surrogacy in general. Consider that conversation a part of your research process.

We’re here for you. Starting a family is a big endeavor without having to worry about things like (i) whether your doctors, lawyers, agency, and mental health professionals are attuned to your specific needs as a LGBTQ+ identifying person; or (ii) whether your parental rights will be recognized by the law. You’re not alone in this process. We’ll help you build and protect your family.

Absolutely! We are delighted to help your dreams come true, regardless of your sex, gender, marital status, sexual orientation, country of origin, or religion.

Yes! We work with parents in all 50 states and abroad.

Yes! We accept applications from surrogates in all states where compensated gestational surrogacy may be practiced legally.

Certainly. Please contact us for more information on how Brownstone can support your journey at a discounted rate.

Yes. Living with HIV does not prevent you from having a child through surrogacy. The Special Program of Assisted Reproduction (SPAR) at the Bedford Clinic has helped bring hundreds of babies into the world safely with no transmission of the virus through a process that includes semen testing and sperm washing. Brownstone is happy to support parents and surrogates through this process. For more information, visit www.bedfordspar.org.

No. Brownstone does not believe in “preferred” or “VIP” programs. All of our clients are VIPs, with open access to our founder and director. All of our surrogates are preferred. We will not accept more money to bump a set of parents to the proverbial “front of the line.” Nor are we comfortable treating certain surrogates as lesser because, for example, they are slightly older or heavier. We are confident in our evidence-based requirements, screening criteria, and matching process.

For more information on our matching process, please see our Details page. At its core, the matching process is based on the extensive interviews we conduct with surrogates and intended parents to ensure that all parties are on the same page with respect to their beliefs, expectations, and specific needs. Both parties must decide to move forward together. We hand-pick profiles of parents to present to surrogates and of surrogates to present to parents one at a time—there is no database.

Brownstone does more psychological screening of its intended parents prior to match than most agencies for a very simple reason: It helps us make better matches. Our intended parents arrive at the surrogacy process with very specific experiences and emotions. You may be dealing with traumas related to recurrent pregnancy loss, cancer, fertility treatments or the harsh judgments of friends and family. Or maybe you are still processing what it means to have a donor-conceived child. You might also have certain fears, concerns, or expectations about your relationship with a surrogate. All of that is normal, natural, and understandable. We believe it is essential to know where people are emotionally in order to forge the right match and provide the right support throughout the process.

Generally surrogates want to give others the happiness of family. They feel called to help and may be inspired by the surrogacy experience or infertility struggle of a friend or family member.

We reject the idea that there is one typical surrogate profile, but here are a few common traits: (1) a generous and compassionate spirit; (2) a desire for deep human connection; and (3) a profound love of family. We also find that surrogates are usually independent, strong, proactive, and organized.

That depends. Each surrogate and each parent is unique and the level of communication each person desires during the surrogacy process and after your child arrives is one of the most important factors we consider when matching. It’s important that you all are on the same page. As a general matter, most surrogates want the parents to be involved along the way and most parents want to be involved, but whether that means the occasional text message and phone call or daily communication and frequent visits is up to you to decide. We will guide you along the way to make sure you form the best relationship for all parties.

Typically, your surrogate will deliver at their local hospital. Oftentimes the surrogate has prior experience delivering there and that is where they feel most comfortable. However, if the parents or surrogate requests a different arrangement—such as delivering at a birthing center under the guidance of a midwife or switching hospitals to be somewhere with a higher level NICU facility—that can be arranged if all parties are in agreement.

Prior to match, Brownstone will share with you the opinion of a third-party insurance expert as to whether the potential surrogate’s insurance is usable for a surrogacy pregnancy. If not, or if she does not have medical insurance, you will work with that insurance expert to obtain a medical insurance policy that will cover the pregnancy. This insurance may be obtained through the Affordable Care Act (ACA) or through specialized Lloyd’s of London-backed plans that are used for surrogacy.

That depends.  Each surrogate and each parent is unique and the level of communication each person desires during the surrogacy process and after your child arrives is one of the most important factors we consider when matching.  It’s important that you all are on the same page.  As a general matter, most surrogates want the parents to be involved along the way and most parents want to be involved, but whether that means the occasional text message and phone call or daily communication and frequent visits is up to you to decide.  We will guide you along the way to make sure you form the best relationship for all parties.

Our surrogates take their responsibilities very seriously. They are all parents themselves and know the importance of a baby’s growth and development, even when that baby is not their own. In fact, most surrogates are far more cautious about their surrogate pregnancies than they were with their own! Our thorough screening process helps to ensure that the surrogates are fully prepared and knowledgeable about the sacrifices they’ll have to make while pregnant. But fundamentally there’s no way to micromanage a surrogate’s daily habits, and you have to trust them to do the right thing. That’s why we say that, after our surrogates pass our screening process, we would trust them to carry our own children.

There are many places to find egg donors, including fertility clinics, frozen egg banks, and egg donor agencies. Egg donors can also be friends or family. There are pros and cons to finding eggs in each of these ways and we are happy to advise you on what might be the best option for your family building and to refer you to more ethical agencies. We wrote a blog post with more information.

This is a very personal question, but we are happy to be a sounding board as you think through what is important to you. Some of the factors you might consider are your needs in terms of quantity of eggs and timeline to embryo creation, your desired traits in a donor (and your views of nature vs. nurture), and the relationship that you want with your donor for you and your future children. Check out the blog post we wrote on this subject.

If you complete your family building and have remaining frozen embryos you do not intend to use, you have a number of options for embryo disposition. You can donate the embryos to others who intend to raise any resulting offspring, you can donate them to scientific research, you can donate them to facilitate the internal training of embryologists in your clinic’s laboratory, or you can discard the embryos. If you are not ready to make a permanent decision, you can also keep them in storage (although you would incur the continuing costs of cryopreservation). We are happy to point you to additional resources and mental health professionals who specialize in this area.

There are a lot of ways to reduce the costs of surrogacy, some bigger (e.g., finding an uncompensated surrogate or having employer benefits that cover surrogacy expenses) and some smaller (e.g., sourcing cheaper medications, forgoing preimplantation genetic screening, or reducing travel costs). We are happy to talk to you about grants, discounts, and other ways big and small to keep your bottom line in check.

Most likely not. Although your policy may cover certain fertility-related costs, insurance policies typically do not cover third parties like donors or surrogates. You will need to pay the medical expenses your surrogate incurs at the fertility clinic. If the surrogate’s own insurance does not cover surrogate pregnancies, then you will also need to pay for a health insurance policy that does cover prenatal care and delivery. However, the newborn child will need to be covered by your insurance policy (or one you purchase).

Professionally! Although Brownstone is one of the few agencies in New York allowed to manage your money since we are owned by an attorney licensed in New York, we believe it is best practice to have a licensed, insured, and bonded third-party escrow agency managing the financial relationship between you and your surrogate. That said, we will handle financial discussions so that you and your surrogate can focus on the pregnancy and your unique relationship.

A lot! Included in our agency fee are: (1) all costs of surrogate pre-screening (including background checks, medical records review, psychological screening); (2) management of your entire journey, including coordination of any donor cycles and unlimited IVF cycles; (3) free rematch services if your surrogate is disqualified or has three unsuccessful transfers, and much more. We are proud to offer one of the most all-inclusive agency fees in the industry. For more details, please visit our costs page or contact us.

No. New York law prohibits any attorney who owns or manages a surrogacy matching program (aka agency) from representing any party to a surrogacy arrangement. Candidly, we think this conflict-of-interest provision is fantastic. While there may be other advantages to having an attorney-run agency (we hope!), you are far better off represented by an attorney who specializes in assisted reproductive law in the relevant state or county.

Within the United States, every state allows for the practice of gestational surrogacy in some form. The laws vary greatly and not all states are legally friendly for all types of intended parents. As a general matter, the East Coast (including New York) has surrogacy-friendly laws. Globally, while some countries allow uncompensated surrogacy (e.g., Canada, United Kingdom, Australia, Brazil), only a handful of countries offer legal compensated surrogacy, and even fewer for foreign intended parents or same-sex parents.

That depends on the state in which the child is born. As explained in the legal process section here, the parentage process usually involves getting a pre-birth court order establishing the intended parents as the legal parents of the baby to be born. In some states, the intended parents will instead go through a process to get a similar order after the birth. And sometimes a second parent adoption (or step parent adoption) is advisable as well. In any event, the parentage process will be taken into consideration during the matching process and you will work with an attorney in the second trimester to be prepared legally. Contrary to popular opinion, the birth certificate is an administrative document only, and a court order is necessary to establish full legal rights.

While the odds depend on your particular circumstances, embryo transfers fail to implant or produce a viable pregnancy almost half the time. Usually there is no cause for concern and the parties gear up to do another transfer as soon as it is medically advisable. Brownstone is here to offer you any support you need as you process this setback. Should multiple transfers fail to take, a more proactive response—changing egg provider, surrogate, or clinic—may be warranted.

This question is difficult to answer in the abstract. Your first step should be to discuss any issues with us. While most intended parents have a wonderful relationship with their surrogate, issues can certainly arise. In our experience, tensions are often attributable to miscommunications or to a misalignment in expectations. Many times simply talking it through can help clear the air and put everyone back on the same page. Brownstone can help advise you on how to repair the relationship and can help mediate any conflicts, as necessary.

Despite the portrayal of surrogacy in TV, movies, and tabloid news, this basically never happens. (In fact, the more common scenario is intended parents who abandon their baby, although that is also extremely rare.) All of our surrogates have children of their own and are done having children. They want to help you build your family. And, as wonderful as babies are, they are typically quite relieved that they don’t have a newborn to deal with at the end! Moreover, because (1) you will have entered a valid and enforceable legal contract with the intent that you are the sole parents, and (2) the gestational surrogate has no genetic link to the child, you will be legally protected.

This varies depending on the legal work required and procedures in the state in which your child was born, including, for example, DNA testing, court proceedings, and the issuance of birth certificates. We can work with you to expedite your applications for visas and passports, but you should expect to be in the United States for at least two weeks and perhaps more than four weeks. One major caveat, however, is that the COVID-19 pandemic has substantially affected passport issuance, leading to delays of eight or more weeks. Contact us for more information and a referral to third-party passport experts.

Absolutely. Any child born in the United States is automatically a U.S. citizen and is entitled to a U.S. birth certificate and U.S. passport.