The Process for Building Your
Family Through Surrogacy
Without our amazing surrogate, my husband and I would not be dads. She changed our lives in such a profound way. There are so many couples and individuals who have the love required to build their family but who need surrogates or donors to make those family-building dreams a reality. Some agencies exploit that need or use the complicated process to their own advantage. We are dedicated to being your partner on this journey and supporting you every step of the way.
– Jarret Zafran, Founder and Executive Director
You probably have a lot of questions about how we get from our initial conversation to the birth of your baby.
Here’s an overview of what that looks like:
1. Getting To Know Each Other
We start with a free consultation. Fill out this short form and Jarret will contact you within 24 hours to schedule the initial meeting. It is important that we know your history and goals to be able to tailor our program to your specific needs. We would love the opportunity to tell you a bit more about the agency and to answer your questions. If you’re local to NYC or planning a visit, let’s meet in person!
2. You Like Us? Let’s Make It Official!
Once you decide to move forward, we’ll sign a contract and you’ll fill out a detailed questionnaire to help us meet your needs. As soon as you’re signed up, we’re here for anything you need while waiting for your surrogate match. We ask for 20% of the agency fee at this time as a retainer. We also conduct criminal and civil background checks of you and coordinate a psychoeducational session.
3. As Needed
: Making Your Embryos
Some parents begin the surrogacy process with their embryos already created and frozen at their fertility clinic. Others connect first with Brownstone, in which case we will work with you to find donor gametes (egg or sperm) or donor embryos, a licensed reproductive endocrinologist and fertility clinic, and independent counsel to draft and finalize a donor agreement, all on an as needed basis.
4. Matching With A Surrogate
By the time Brownstone presents a potential surrogate for you, they will have already undergone extensive medical, psychological, financial and interpersonal screening. You will receive a profile and some background information on the surrogate and have the power to decide to move forward to a conversation or to pass. If you both want to meet, we facilitate a virtual meet-up or, if possible, in-person. If, and only if, both parties agree to move forward together, then it’s a match (!) pending the final in-person medical screenings by your own reproductive endocrinologist. If it doesn’t feel right, we’ll go back to the drawing board and present a new potential match.
5. The Lawyers, Accountants, and Agents Get Involved
Armed with recommendations from Brownstone of top ART (assisted reproductive technology) lawyers, you and your surrogate will both retain independent counsel to draft, negotiate, and finalize the gestational surrogacy agreement. You will also work with an attorney to make guardianship arrangements in your will to cover worst case scenarios and to establish a simple living will and health care proxy for your surrogate. We’ll establish an account for you with an independent, licensed, and bonded escrow manager so that you and your surrogate can have peace of mind that disbursements are handled professionally and focus instead on your relationship. Finally, we’ll connect you with expert insurance agents to procure any additional medical, life, or disability insurance policies for you and your surrogate based on their individualized review of your situation.
6. The IVF Process
Once you and your surrogate have been both medically and legally cleared, your reproductive endocrinologist can start your surrogate on the medication protocol and schedule an embryo transfer. Brownstone will coordinate all travel arrangements, liaise with the fertility clinic, and arrange for pre- and post-transfer monitoring at a fertility clinic near your surrogate’s home. If the transfer does not result in a pregnancy, we will regroup, provide mental health support to all parties, and repeat this step.
7. Pregnancy!
Finally—what you’ve been waiting for all this time! Brownstone will make sure all parties feel truly supported during this time, be it through education, birth planning, mediation, mental health support, travel arrangements, gifts, or referrals. During the second trimester, you and your surrogate will work with independent counsel in the birth state to begin the process of establishing your legal parentage. Brownstone will work with the hospital to ensure proper arrangements for a surrogate delivery.
8. Birth and After
Your baby arrives! While you are soaking in those first moments, we’ll work to coordinate any final legal work and travel arrangements. Once your baby is medically discharged, your new expanded family is free to head home! We’ll provide postpartum mental health support as needed and ensure that all bills are paid before closing out your escrow account and refunding any remaining amounts.
Overall, the process from consultation to baby may be as quick as one year, usually takes closer to two years, and may be longer than that, based on a number of factors. We would be happy to discuss the timeline in more depth during our consultation.
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About This?
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The First Step?
Brownstone Surrogacy is licensed as a surrogacy matching program by the New York State Department of Health. Our license number is GS221023. We are proud to be among the few agencies licensed by a governmental regulator.
“Gestation is a marvel, no matter how it is accomplished. But gestation isn’t the real magic. Love is the magic. Love is the only magic.” – Early: An Intimate History of Premature Birth and What It Teaches Us About Being Human by Sarah DiGregorio