How Is a Surrogacy Pregnancy Different From Your Own?
A common question prospective surrogates ask is, “how will a surrogacy pregnancy be different from my own?” It’s a great question, and the answer will drastically differ depending on the surrogate and the baby. After all, each pregnancy is unique!
While the joy of a newborn baby is universal, the process leading up to and following that moment is significantly different. In this blog post, we’ll explore some of the key differences between a surrogacy pregnancy and your own.
Emotional Connection
One of the most significant differences between surrogacy pregnancy and your own pregnancy is the emotional connection you have with the baby. A common misconception about surrogacy is that the surrogate becomes emotionally bonded to the baby, as she would her own child. Many surrogates may feel a strong bond with the baby, but it’s often different from the emotional bond a mother feels when she carries her own child. Surrogates go into the journey knowing that they will get to return the beautiful baby to the parents after delivery, and therefore the connection that they develop with the baby is far different than if it were their own child.
Medical Process
Getting pregnant through surrogacy involves a medical process called in vitro fertilization (IVF). If you have never gone through IVF before, the process might seem daunting at first. However, we are here to help! In fact, we have a detailed blog post about what to expect medically here.
In summary, the process starts with a medication protocol set by the fertility doctor, which may include pills, injections, patches, and/or suppositories, that prepare your body for an embryo transfer and pregnancy. The clinic will provide detailed instructions for how and when to take your medications and it’s important to follow them carefully. You will have a few doctors appointments local to you before the embryo transfer to check that you are responding well to the medications and are ready for the transfer.
The embryo transfer is quick and relatively painless. No anesthesia is required and you’ll be able to travel home shortly thereafter. At home, you’ll continue your medications and go to local monitoring appointments to make sure the pregnancy continues to grow. About 8 weeks after the transfer, you will be able to stop medications and start visiting your own OB just like a typical pregnancy.
Legal Process
Both surrogates and the intended parents have to go through a legal process before becoming pregnant. Surrogacy contracts are drawn up to define the rights and obligations of the surrogate and the intended parents. The surrogate may also have to go through a legal process to terminate her parental rights, depending on the state or country’s specific laws.
Planning
Planning for a surrogacy pregnancy is considerably less compared to planning for a traditional pregnancy. Typically, when you’re planning for your own pregnancy, you ensure that the nursery is all set up, that daycare is set, that you have clothing and diapers on hand, among many other factors. However, when it comes to surrogacy, there’s not as much to plan for, since the intended parent(s) bring the baby home! This also means that recovery is simpler because the surrogate is able to focus on herself rather than also caring for a newborn.
Communication
With your own pregnancy, it was just yourself and your partner attending doctor’s visits and sharing many beautiful moments throughout the pregnancy. With surrogacy, intended parents are very much involved throughout the entire process. Therefore, communication is key! You’ll be expected to inform your intended parent(s) about any medications, appointments, and ultrasounds. Sending pictures, having FaceTime calls, and openly communicating is essential to ensure that everyone is on the same page and feels included throughout the journey.
Curiosity
Lastly, there are many questions and curiosity around pregnancy, especially when it comes to surrogacy. People are generally fascinated by the idea of surrogacy and have lots of questions about how it works and what the experience is like. This can be challenging for the surrogate mother, who faces the attention and curious questions. Check out our blog post, “How To React as a Surrogate to Strangers’ Questions and Comments” to learn more!
