Debunking the Media’s Portrayal of Surrogacy

Surrogacy remains a somewhat mysterious process for the average person, who likely has little to no knowledge about surrogacy. In fact, many people may not know someone who has gone through their own surrogacy journey, either as a parent or a surrogate. Therefore, much of what the general public knows about this journey is primarily through the media. Recent news articles highlight Khloe Kardashian’s surrogate or the many TikTok couples beginning the process. Surrogacy is also portrayed on the big screen in movies like Baby Mama, The Surrogacy Trap, and the ever-so-famous TV show, Friends. Despite the success of this media, unfortunately it fails to depict the real picture of what a surrogacy journey truly looks like. In an attempt to educate the public on surrogacy, in this post we will be Debunking The Media’s Portrayal of Surrogacy.

(1) The Motives of the Surrogates

The stories covering the surrogacy journey for celebrities and social media stars rarely share any information about the surrogate, with the intention of maintaining the privacy and well-being of the individual and their family. Of course this privacy is critical, especially when dealing with big name stars like The Kardashians. However, in keeping the surrogate out of the story completely, it poses the question of, “what was the surrogate’s motive?” A big misconception is that surrogates only do it for the paycheck, and although the money does help, at the end of the day it’s simply not enough to warrant the emotions, time, and risks involved with this journey. Without having any knowledge as to why someone chooses to be a surrogate for these celebrities, it’s easy to assume that money was the only factor. 

While the news articles and videos tend to leave out the surrogate completely, movies and TV shows emphasize the idea that surrogates only do this for the money. In many cases, the surrogates are depicted as being mentally and financially unstable, essentially looking for a solution to the many problems they’re facing. And BAM! Surrogacy it is! In reality, surrogacy agencies screen all applicants to ensure that they are financially, mentally, and emotionally stable before proceeding.

(2) The Motives of the Celebrities

Perhaps you don’t expect us to jump to the celebrities defense as well, but stay with us.  Celebrity surrogacy stories involving an intended mother frequently jump to the conclusion that she must have pursued surrogacy because she didn’t want to ruin her figure, was scared of pregnancy, or was just “too busy.”  This speculation is unfair to those pursuing surrogacy and unfortunate for the practice generally.  The bottom line is that we often do not know the struggles that an intended mother went through before turning to surrogacy.  It’s not fair to expect them to disclose their years of fertility treatment, their miscarriages, or anything else about their medical history.  Celebrities are not immune to the fertility struggles affecting 1 in 8 couples in the United States and the media would be better off not placing judgment.

(3) Traditional Surrogacy as the “Norm”

Traditional surrogacy is an arrangement in which the surrogate is biologically related to the baby, and it’s no longer the standard form of surrogacy. In fact, very few agencies work with traditional surrogacy journeys. Gestational surrogacy, meaning the surrogate has no genetic connection to the child, is much more popular these days, and is the form of surrogacy that Brownstone, and most other agencies, work in. Contrary to the fact that traditional surrogacy has not been the norm in over a decade, many of the stories we see on TV and in the movies depict surrogates that are genetically related to the child. To learn more about the important distinction between traditional and gestational surrogates, refer to this chart here:

(4) Only Covering the Horror Stories

There have been thousands of success stories through surrogacy, but the media tends to focus on the negatives. The rare story of a surrogate who tried to keep the baby or of parents by surrogacy who abandoned their child during the surrogacy process may get highlighted, but it’s important to remember that the media tends to dwell on the negatives. There overwhelming majority of surrogacy stories are heartwarming, successful, and smooth, and so many families are complete thanks to their lovely surrogates. At the end of the day, the most important thing that we hope is that all perspective surrogates and intended parents do research. Find reliable sources, talk with previous surrogates or intended parents, speak with agencies, and read all about the journey. Critically view the media and remember that, while these things may happen, a surrogacy agency can help provide much more accurate and all-encompassing information about the journey.