Tips for Financing Your Surrogacy Journey

The sticker shock of surrogacy is real.  Sometimes it feels like a massive insult added to injury:  Many people are able to build their families without assistance (except, maybe, for a glass of chardonnay), but parents by surrogacy not only need to entrust someone else to carry their child, they also have to pay over $100,000 for that privilege.  It’s unfair that we spend the “college fund” just to have that child we hope to send to college, but there are ways to lessen the financial pain and make your surrogacy journey more affordable.

Know Your Employer’s Benefits and Your State’s Laws

Start by understanding what you already have at your disposal.  You may have benefits that can help cover the cost of starting your family through surrogacy.  We encourage everyone to check with their human resources team to see what their employer may offer.  Each year, more and more employers (especially large employers) add to their family-building benefit offerings.  According to the 2021 FertilityIQ Workplace Index, almost 800 large employers, including those beyond the usual progressive benefits leaders (technology, banking, consulting), are now offering robust benefits.  Employers are also increasingly turning to companies like Carrot, Progyny, Maven Clinic, and WINFertility to offer fertility benefits, including costs for adoption and gestational surrogacy.  If your employer offers minimal or no benefits, you can also consider advocating internally.  Your company may just need a nudge in the right direction!

Additionally, while your insurance benefits cannot be used towards medical care for your surrogate, more and more states (including New York) are requiring insurance plans within their states to cover IVF cycles for people impacted by infertility or for fertility preservation.  If your plan does not provide fertility coverage but other plans available to you do, you can also take advantage of open enrollment periods or qualifying life events to switch to an Affordable Care Act (ACA) plan.  Consider creative ways to use FSAs or HSAs towards unreimbursed medical expenses or qualified medical procedures.

Scraping Together the Money – Grants, Jobs, Loans, and Financing

Intended parents can get really creative with how they can finance their journey.  As a first step, consider applying for grants or financial aid.  Our resources page has an extensive list of organizations that provide grants or scholarships toward family building.  Brownstone is proud to participate in one of those programs, Men Having Babies’ GPAP program, which awards discounts and pro bono services to gay cisgender men and transwomen pursuing surrogacy.

Secondly, think about what resources you can use in your life to increase your savings or finance your process.  If you own your own home, many parents will take out a home equity line of credit (HELOC).  Other parents will borrow from a 401(k), sell investment assets, apply for a personal loan, or take out a low-interest credit card.  If it’s easier to devote more time than to access money, some intended parents will take on part-time jobs at a company like Starbucks, which offers a Family Expansion Reimbursement of up to $40,000 per adoption, surrogacy, or IUI for employees working more than 20 hours a week.

Finally, there are many companies and banks that offer financing specifically designed for family building.  A long list is available at our resources page.  For help comparing your options, feel free to reach out to us, to a trusted financial advisor, or to a financial coach like SeedCoach.

Go Altruistic, Independent, or Take Your Time

While more difficult in some respects, there are also some ways to cut out large chunks of your surrogacy cost.  First, while we truly believe our services as an agency are worth every penny, if you feel comfortable finding a surrogate and managing the process on your own–everything from screening and education to sourcing reputable attorneys and mental health professionals–you can do an “independent” surrogacy and avoid paying the agency fee.  It requires a lot more time and effort for you (and, likely, for your surrogate), but it’s an option.  Second, if you have a friend or relative (or incredibly kind stranger) willing to be your surrogate (or donor) for either low or no compensation, that would save you a considerable amount of money as well.  To be clear, parents with a “no comp” surrogate are still responsible for all of the medical expenses, screening expenses, insurance payments, legal fees, and other costs.

Additionally, cryopreservation of embryos can allow parents to split up the process and have more time to save up.  In other words, you could pay whatever costs are required to create your embryos (including donor expenses, as needed), freeze those embryos, and save up for months or years before starting on the surrogacy process.  (At Brownstone, we also spread out when our agency fee is due to help avoid the difficulty of a large lump sum.)

Avoiding Hidden Costs or Extras

There are smaller ways to also watch your wallet by knowing exactly what you are getting for your money from the professionals in your journey, especially your agency and your doctor.  First, make sure you know exactly what is included in your agency fee.  At Brownstone, our agency fee includes virtually all costs screening both you and your surrogate, including items for which the costs are typically passed on to you (expert insurance review, psychosocial evaluation, background checks).  If you need to be rematched with a new surrogate for almost any reason, we do not charge any additional fee.  When you compare agencies, make sure you know what to expect from each agency and are making a true apples-to-apples comparison.

Second, while it is human nature to defer to medical expertise, there is an increasing trend towards so-called “IVF add-ons,” not all of which are truly supported by clinical research.  For example, embryo glue, assisted hatching, time-lapse imaging, intralipid infusions, endometrial scratching or endometrial receptivity assay (ERA), and even pre-implantation genetic screening are controversial within the reproductive endocrinology field.

Third, and finally, make sure you know what is included in so-called “fixed price” or “guarantee” programs.  Usually, like with insurance, these programs are priced in a way designed to benefit the agency or clinic.  That may still be an attractive proposition, but make sure you know exactly what scenarios they are offering “money back” for, and what fees may still be extras or add-ons (perhaps because they are outside of the agency or clinic’s control).

A Final Word of Caution

While there are many great ways to reduce the costs of a surrogacy journey, it is tempting to cut corners in other ways that increase the risk of a bad outcome considerably.  For example, don’t cut out the lawyers.  Your parental rights to your child are too important to put at risk by hiring that “family friend” who is a personal injury lawyer or by having one attorney represent both the parent(s) and surrogate.  Similarly, going outside of the United States in search of cheaper fertility clinics and cheaper surrogacy arrangements entails a bigger risk that the process will be done unethically, illegally, or be affected by geopolitical issues like potential invasions(!).  Absolutely watch your wallet, but don’t fall for empty promises.